Oh and I abysmally failed the fangirling-retirement-commitment. lmao.
January
Everything began back in November 2018, when Management considered to split our directorate. Investor Relation stays under Finance Director, meanwhile the Strategy part moves out under another completely different box under the CEO himself -- to arrange the Transformation project that was being prepared. My division particularly, was divided into two preferences, between staying in Finance or following the whole batch outside.
During the first meeting with the Chief (later became our Boss), he nonchalantly gave us freedom whether we will follow the direction out, or stay inside (under Finance) regardless our actual jobdesc is. Knowing this Chief's image, everyone in the room instantly realize that the statement is a political one - you can't take them at value because there might be hidden layers below the "yes" or "no". But Pak G, our then Head of, specifically asked me whether I want the new job or nah. He knew I started to feel discomfort staying in my then job for too long, but being the only people from my unit (my peers and spv were on leave, conveniently), that question feels like a direct jab to a defenseless low worker like me. In front of a dozen senior peers, two spvs, a Head Of, and a to-be-Chief, I said "yes".
I'm always proud of being a consistent person who'd stick to whatever I said myself (no matter how fucked up it was), and of course, my self-confining ass also submit my CV when the Chief' secretary gathered everyone for a 1-on-1 session. In front of him, I stated again, "I want that new job". I didn't even consult my supervisor, but I hang on that jobdesc adjustment promise (kinda) he stated at our first meeting, and thankfully he said yes. Receiving a political yes is better than not getting at all from backing-off, right.
At third week, I joined the first Transformation Program Liaison (the new job official name) meeting. A bit overwhelming to finally work together with my senior team after 2 years of only sitting together. Basically all we have to do is reminding the Initiative Owners (bosses who run the change initiatives) to do their job, and cover the administrative shits for them. Writing minutes of meeting, ensuring the team members are properly recorded.
Regarding the sitting together, I and my strategy team peers only technically sat together before, because I still need to handle my spv inquiries from two blocks away. I requested to sit away because I hate being monitored upon typing every dots and spaces like a freaking 5 years old. Of course I didn't say that in front of his salad, I reasoned "We need to align better with the finance counterpart". Not sure whether he bought that bullshit but he let me go regardless. As long as I still do my job well, right? A commitment I still fulfill despite now having another job to do, with him knowing, this time.
Oh and I still diligently stay away from fandom stuff. Had changed both of my stan twitter accounts to [closed] and following strictly only some of my closest mutuals and two accounts @weareoneEXO and @B_hundred_Hyun, first month was still easy peasy.
February
I joined the first meeting with bigger bosses who'd. I can't even speak a word because I have literally ZERO speaking skill even in Bahasa so thankseu.But thank God, I can follow the rhythm quite well. Mainly because I was paired with another senior peer, so he can cover my incompetencies at times. He's doing the communication, i dealt with the writing stuffs (minutes and actual milestone checking). No biggies.
Oh, and Pak G left. sobs.
Second month of no-fangirling activities: checked. I still listen to their newest songs (Paper Cut by CBX and Make it Count by CHEN) thanks to those updates I received from merchbot @weareoneEXO, but that's it.
March
No issues. My spv assumed I was overwhelmed (not really :p) with the Transformation project so he spared me most of the times. We also got an MT trainee to help us arranging whatever mess inside our team. And my peers still assume I'm a useless officer who could not be trusted handling shit with higher ups, so yay again.My no-fangirling mode was started to crumble down though. I curiously searched how my bias EXO is doing, only to find out that my son CHEN opened a youtube channel and WAS about to release solo album in April. SHIT.
April
No issues. Well we had one or two vessels popped from having to receive the pointless direction from the consultant and dealing with powerless new Head of who'd never have enough assurance to do his own shit (Pak S, Pak G's replacement) but overall everything went alright.I still have to complete the quarterly OJK report, but due to my additional job, I was forced to do it between me handling initiative requests, Pak S uncertainties, Our Chief being political and the increasingly infuriating consultant. No biggie, I've done this damn report since I was intern.
Several requests from my spv still coming in (he somehow always find his way doing other people's job GODDAMMIT), but I handle everything okay. I sent them late at night to show how I dutifully still make time covering up his pushover-ness, ha.
No. I have zero intention to tell him to stop covering other people laziness and incompetencies and dump everything to his lowly paid team. As much as he love complaining about how he shouldn't be the one doing those crap, he would always go back with "I could not possibly refuse any incoming job" shit. Yea sure captain. Aite aite.
By the way, April, and a Flower by CHEN is doing extremely well digitally (yea ofc I do not make a grammar mistake here, the song stayed in chart until November, and it's still going in and out until now). He even won SBS Inkigayo, who is known for being heavily depend on digital performance. It feels nice to see my son's hardwork is received by public. EXO-L who?
Yea, public. Because no way the listener ratio that good (almost 50:50 male:female) if we only depend on EXO-L streaming. EXO-Ls are getting lazy in general, they only ever used their fangs to fight Bangtan's fans or other member' solo stans. Well unless if a Byun Baekhyun counted as 100 times normal listener... he loves his buddy's new songs despite his solo stans remains oblivious. No problem. Baekchen stan win.
And Minseokie hyung was...enlisting... :c
(Yea my no-fangirling-phase was poofed into thin air. Bye. I even bought CHEN's album. I searched his name and 'Baekchen' in twitter more often than I pee. Retired my ass.)
May
Not much highlight in Transformation, as my focus was mainly used to complete the DAMN report. The bullshit business plan with fourty excel worksheet to fill with random numbers which I'm sure no one ever read, even the maker herself. If you type a whole lyrics of EXO's MAMA jukgo jugigo saugo wechigo in that trash document, people would hardly notice. I need to start ahead because Idul Fitri was in early June and no bloke in right mind will stay in office doing any work. Including those supposed to contribute and provide data.Yea, the trainee is still too clueless to handle a report as "big" as this one so I, again, jump in to finish it. I have a severe phobia of teaching people so rather than doing that it would be easier to finish the job myself
My fangirling life is rejoicing though. My son CHEN was still continuing his one month - one content strike and this time he collab with a soloist (some said he's also a vocal director?coach? who was close with Baekchen) Im Hanbyul.
I'll casually left their masterpiece here and be prepared to receive luxurious singing skills. Like, boy, this is how you project high note. Use head and mixed voice well instead of only shouting shit into your mic and hurting your vocal nodes in the process. Do you want to sing for long or not ffs
You're welcome.
June
I didn't take annual leave due to the damn report. Need to standby to provide my draft in case Mr. spv want to check. Lmao. As he ever know what he'd need to review at. He didn't even know where to read for certain info, like he asked me why I didn't write our plan to issue bond when I already freaking wrote that in two whole paragraph in TWO SECTIONS.Okay madam, calm down. You're not here to complain about your ex-boss :p
Transformation project, not much update. I was still doing admin shits, though I started to actually reach out to those bosses for inquiries. Actually I started to do most of the PL jobs, since the reaching out jobs what exactly the point of my role. My partner has significantly lesser workload than me now, but no problemo, I'm happy with it. Having to write minutes in English every week, I was confident I have better writing skill than him anyway. I only reach out to him if I have to contact someone who is particularly difficult to contact.
He actually also offered me to assist in his BAU jobs. Being a "mental babu", of course I agree with that. But since I still dealing with my spv shits, eventually he stop asking me to join his meeting. Too bad, his role is fun though.
July
No special stuffs. Next.August
No special stuff. Just popped one or two arteries for not learning my lesson of not sacrificing yourself unless asked, but no big deal lah. That's life.September
Early retirement program was once again buzzing among all workers, after the last one back 4 years ago. I initially didn't have much thought on it. Not that this workplace that terrible of a place though, but since I'd be paid nicely, why not? Good news is, my spv and my peers (BAU one, not the Program Liaison one) also applying, so I didnt give any further thought and casually confirmed my participation. We did not give any fuck whether our unit would have to be demolished due to everyone's leaving.And my application was approved. I needed to go back earlier from my annual leave but still, HURRAH. The amount is quite nice too.
DEE IS LEAVING THIS PLACE BY THE YEAR-END, FINALLY
October
My working mood somehow became significantly lighter knowing I would be leaving this year. With my PL partner started to get overwhelmed with his BAU job, I naturally taking over most of the PL jobs. He started to show his incompetencies (or it was me who's slow) in PL jobs, but since I was leaving anyway, I suck my uneasiness and let myself cover his ass.On the other side, me who already forgotten my January commitment of reducing my fangirling activities, once again buying Kpop album. It was my son second solo album. THERE'S NO WAY I DON'T BUY MY SON HARDWORK, HIS FIRST CREATION WAS AMAZING AND WORTH DOUBLE OF MY PENNIES.
November
It was supposed to be tough because another batch of DAMN report is coming. But since I would be leaving in next month, I did that again one last time. This time because at year end, the higher ups who was supposed to sign the report would be on leave and the internal deadline was pushed forward by one week, so it was impossible for the trainee to do it alone. Okay, no big deal.And EXO was having a comeback. Sure thing, here's my money SM. (Son was pushed back a lot in this comeback like usual, but I tried not to indulge myself too far. Those warriors can do their job, I'm here for fun only)
December
I'M FREE!!!!!!!!!Slow month of the year (due to people taking Christmas leave) gave me ample of time to think on what I will be doing after leaving. I haven't exactly plot them yet, but at least I know what to do in January. I've enrolled myself in a short Data Science course, and considering to take another class to complete my skill before I'm ready to seek another job. I should see whether I can though. Data Science is a whole new field to me.
By the time I typed this, I have officially bid my last greeting to everyone in my company. My last day haven't been special, but knowing that I was accepted nicely by the Director my spv had been religiously served for, I feel glad inside.
So far, the biggest turning point I made is when I decided to apply the early retirement program. Now I'm officially jobless, and the thought of having to seek jobs and waiting for interview is scaring me, and that is not even an overstatement. I have never applied for a job before. I have spent over a quarter of my retirement allowance for this course, and if I turned out to be bad at it, I'm done. What if I don't get any offer after graduating from the course? What if I made a wrong course choice?
Goddamn, living in present isn't as easy as how it is being spoken
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